Taking Back Control


Dear Kiddos

Life has way, sometimes, of hitting you from lots of different angles. Things which are usually completely assailable on their own become indomitable when everything happens at once.

In these situations, you need to do the following:

a) be kind to yourself – I say this a lot because we are never as kind to ourselves as we should be. Oftentimes, the problems hitting us are exacerbated by our own high expectations or standards for ourselves.

b) protect yourself – it does you no good when you are already feeling down, overwhelmed, failing, negative or any other toxic emotion to seek out further negativity. I have a tendency to start obsessing about world events that are bleak or troublesome. I tell myself that I am ‘gaining perspective’ but what I am really doing is fuelling the black hole inside me. I can’t change the world – not today at least. And often the current events that are so depressing have little to no real impact on my life. This fact might make me feel bad and feel like I ought to do more, read more, feel more (and therefore somehow salve my conscience) but what really needs to be done when I have other bits of real life hitting me is to protect myself and take myself out of the worldwide fight for justice, peace and harmony, if only for a little while so that I can get myself strong and well again.

c) reflect – write things down or talk things through with somebody. As soon as you start listing all the things that are getting you down, you realise how insignificant some of it is (if not all) and the bits that are left start to feel more manageable. Everything is always worse in your head.

d) look after yourself – give yourself a quick check-up to make sure there isn’t some other reason that is making all your woes seem so real and so damaging. Are you tired? Are you stressed about something? Are you eating right? Are you exercising? Are hormones flaring up? It might be the last thing you want to acknowledge when you are in the midst of a self-righteous meltdown but there really could be something else making everything worse.

e) make a plan – take back control of your life by making a concrete plan about what you are going to do to pull yourself out of this. You are in control. You can decide what to do next – wallowing or feeling sorry for yourself is absolutely an option. But only for a limited time. After that, you need to start hitting back.  You have GOT this.

f) remember you are loved – you might be scared or overwhelmed or angry or hurt but you are also loved. Allow that love to reach you when you need it most.

Love, Mama x


One thought on “Taking Back Control

  1. Pingback: Writing Happy – Mama Kate

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